7/1
The sky’s big blue eye isn’t a blue eye after all
sure looks like 1 tho & sincere too the rose
petals pressed between the pages turning black the
newspaper clippings turning piss yellow the
Polaroids taped against the infinite the clouds’ whitish
teeth chew them up spit them out just like
Wrigley’s Spearmint Well the sky just can’t quit
smoking So why’re you so nervous Mr Marlowe
There’re awnings everywhere on the margins of
existence & they’re all undergoing acupuncture It’s
taking place on Haight & Masonic for instance
where Rosie’s strolling like a dog-eared paperback
novel as dirty blonde & voluble & in which
Marlowe can’t find his place
Jack Hayes
© 2010
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4 comments:
I'm full of admiration for this, particularly so for the lineation. I would never have thought to break the lines as you have, and if I had thought wouldn't have had the courage. But it works wonderfully well. Brilliant passages like:-
"teeth chew them up spit them out just like
Wrigley’s Spearmint Well the sky just can’t quit
smoking So why’re you so nervous Mr Marlowe"
just left me breathless with envy.
(Didn't know you could be!) I can't imagine why I have not found this blog before now.
Hi Dave: Thanks so much! I like to "spring" the rhythm, & I've done this by ear for quite some time (these were written in 1996.) Very gratified that you stopped by & decided to follow!
I've always been a great admirer of sprung rhythm well done - and it's deucedly difficult to do well. Don't think I could tackle it, but I'm most impressed with your verses.
Hi Dave: Thanks--that is very much appreciated.
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